Masturbation

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 10.23.18

* Lawyer for Hughes Hubbard partner wants the other side to whip it out. [Law360] * What if Martindale and Avvo came together into one website that no one looks at? [American Lawyer] * Court says Michael Avenatti stiffed a contractor on the same day he's kicked out of his office for being a deadbeat, further solidifying his position as the "liberal version of Trump." [LA Times] * Speaking of Trump, insurers can now kill your coverage over the pre-existing condition of "acne." [NY Times] * Justice Department advising agencies to lie about FOIA requests. Cool. [Courthouse News Service] * In case you were wondering, the Mueller probe is not a witch hunt. [CNN] * The Hong Kong Stock Exchange is now the number one IPO market in the world. Great job for the #MakeAmericaSecondRateAgain crowd! [International] * Lawyer forcefully argues for Harvard admissions to reflect socioeconomic diversity. If this wasn't a lawsuit bankrolled by white grievance they might be onto something. [Politico]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 05.15.17

* On the one hand, Trump men seem to have an unhealthy relationship with their daughters. On the other hand, celebrating your daughter's sexuality is a thing that's kind of progressive. [BBC] * Neil Gorsuch will likely recuse himself from this burping case if it comes to the Supreme Court. Which is too bad, because his 10th Circuit dissent in the underlying case seems exactly right. [NPR] * It's always fun when Uber loses in court. [Forbes] * The ACLU is going to fight Donald Trump every day. [ACLU] * I have an opinion on masturbation as speech... I'm just going to keep it to myself. [Popehat] * All those U.S. Senators who confirmed Jeff Sessions should be forced to answer for his actions now. [The Root] * "Trump revealed highly classified information to Russian foreign minister and ambassador" -- Headline, Washington Post. I mean, of course he did. Nobody is surprised. Nobody will stop him. [Washington Post]

By Elie Mystal
10th Circuit

Morning Docket: 12.27.12

* Justice Sonia Sotomayor just ruined Hobby Lobby’s new year by refusing to block the Affordable Care Act’s contraceptives mandate. All of the members of the company’s legal team will have to scrapbook and crochet for hours to get over this loss. [Reuters] * Harvard Law graduate Barack Obama is being feted as CNN’s “Most Intriguing Person of 2012,” but he’s currently trailing in fourth place in the most important year-end poll of all: Above the Law’s Lawyer of the Year competition. Get out there and vote! [CNN] * Federal district court judges aren’t being confirmed as quickly as they once were, and it’s partly because our president isn’t submitting nominees as quickly as those who came before him. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)] * But even if the president nominated judges more quickly, he’d continue to face harsh opposition from the NRA, which matters because the gun group has an entire party in its pocket. [Opinionator / New York Times] * A legal problem and a journalism problem wrapped up in a little pretty bow: David Gregory of NBC’s “Meet the Press” is being investigated for displaying an alleged 30-round magazine on the air. [Washington Post] * One of New York’s most prestigious private schools agreed to settle the sex abuse suit brought against it by former students. Simpson Thacher partner Phil Culhane must be doing a victory dance. [New York Daily News] * You got a fast car, and now this case will pay all our bills. Toyota settled a class action suit over unintended acceleration, and it’s touted as one of the largest product-liability settlements in history. [New York Times] * Ay dios mio! You know that you’re never going to enjoy another vacation when you catch a hotel employee spreading his seed all over your clothes. But what did you expect? It’s Mexico. [Courthouse News Service]

By Staci Zaretsky
11th Circuit

Non-Sequiturs: 12.10.12

* I’m not sure what it takes to be a top “Global Thinker,” but I’m sure these law professors are worthy. [Volokh Conspiracy] * Good to see that I’m not the only one who gets crazy pitch letters from lawyers. [Popehat] * If somehow this results in a Simpsons episode where the 11th Circuit rules on whether or not the family can have another Snowball, I’ll be happy. [Find Law] * No joke, the “things you can’t do on a plane” series is probably my favorite thing in the blawgosphere right now. [Legal Blog Watch] * Keith Magness, the lawyer accused of masturbating on the office furniture of girls in his firm, entered Alford pleas. But the pleas kind of stuck together. [Times-Picayune] * But really, how is anybody going to get trial experience if everybody is entering pleas all the time? [Underdog] * Could a benevolent monopolist fix legal education? Perhaps. But I’d vote for a malevolent blogger instead. [lawprofblog] * This law student is worried about the tax implications of getting free donuts. He’d better be worried about letting me know that he can get donuts whenever he wants. (Yes, I make the jokes so you can’t hurt me, then go home to bacon-wrapped, fried steak wedges, which don’t judge). [Tax Prof Blog] * I was on Geraldo at Large for about 30 seconds this weekend telling a gun range owner that guns should be regulated while standing in the middle of his gun store. I wore bright orange because, well, I didn’t want to get shot. [Geraldo at Large]

By Staci Zaretsky
Attorney Misconduct

Morning Docket: 09.19.12

* Steven Davis, D&L’s former chairman, really wants to make sure he’ll be able to use the firm’s insurance policy to defend himself, or else he’ll “suffer undue hardship.” Sorry, but after all the undue hardship you caused, nobody feels bad for you. [Am Law Daily] * As it turns out, the Mitt “47 Percent” Romney recording may have been illegally taped, but Florida authorities aren’t investigating — a victim hasn’t come forward to complain. What, no “off the cuff” remarks this time, Mitt? [Washington Wire / Wall Street Journal] * Even if you get disbarred, you can still go on to work for a Biglaw firm. In other news, apparently you can last about a month at Lewis Brisbois while using a stolen identity before you get fired. [Las Vegas Review-Journal] * Arizona’s governor was really excited that the injunction against SB 1070′s “show me your papers” provision was lifted by Judge Susan Bolton. She won’t be as excited when all of the lawsuits start rolling in. [Bloomberg] * It’s probably bad if your dean resigns before the school opens. J. Michael Johnson, the ex-dean of Louisiana College School of Law, left to take a “great job offer” (i.e., not a law school deanship). [Shreveport Times] * Good news, ladies! A serial subway “grinder” in NYC avoided jail time after ejaculating on three women in separate incidents, and now city pols are trying to make it harder for perverts to get off. [New York Daily News]

By Staci Zaretsky